The Mission v2.0

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“Who are you? What is this place? What’s in this place? Why am I even here? And, what the elf do たまご [eggs] have to do with Japan?!?!”

Okay, first of all, I don’t come to your website and start bombarding you with a plethora of completely valid questions. Second, I will address your plethora in a moment, just give a sec. Third… well, there really is no ‘third’ –except Shrek the Third, which they really should not have made. They shouldn’t have even made a second. And why in Sir Daniel DeVito’s holy name did they make a fourth?! –Money. Look at that, you’re already learning invaluable life lessons.

Now that we have that settled, let’s get started!

MISSION STATEMENT: To obtain native-like fluency in the Japanese language by any means necessary (immersion, study, fun, or otherwise) for the purpose of providing the Japanese public with new perspectives of entertainment (including, but not limited to: movies, music, art in general, etc.).

What YOU get from hatchJAPAN:

Do you like scantly dressed pictures of provocatively positioned women? That’s right, so sexy even the pictures themselves are hardly wearing any clothing. Well, you can get that smut almost anywhere else but here.

hatchJAPAN offers you first and foremost, light-hearted entertainment. If you like to smile and have a good time, this is a site you may enjoy. Original videos, music, articles, pictures, etc. created by ざっちー are just a few of the things you’ll find here. There are many delicious things to feed your face-balls and other senses; most being about Japan, so be prepared to learn a little. But, be careful! Amongst all the silliness, you may find yourself feeling the drive to accomplish. hatchJAPAN also provides motivational backings and ideas. While the site is geared specifically toward learning Japanese, most suggestions and information can be applied to just about any goal in general.

Check out the Index to find an article that tickles your fancy.

Click on 新しい卵 [New Eggs] for the latest posts.

Go to my Portfolio to thumb through a collection of art created in various mediums.

You can find all this and more located in the top menu bar.

If you don’t like the site, that’s cool. –About as cool as a guy smoking while wearing sunglasses at night, which, is pretty darn cool according to an ‘87 U.S. consensus.

Basically, what you get from hatchJAPAN is ME! –Which brings me to my next point—

Who am I?!

I am not Jackie Chan. The name is ざっちー [‘Zatchy’ to those of you who can’t read]. The things I love most are Japan, making movies, making smiles, and making anything else. As you can draw from the Mission Statement above, my dream is to make a living in Japan creating Japanese media as a writer, director, and actor for the entertainment world. Shaping that dream into a bouncing baby ball of reality is quite a task, so, I’ve outlined a game plan to help me visualize how to conquer all over this daunting goal’s face. The ‘red’ text represents the important things I will do regardless of how. The ‘blue’ are good ideas to help me accomplish the ‘red’.

And really, why would I have a site if I didn’t want to harness the powers of the internet to network: meet people, make connections as well as friends? I want to hear from you! Whether it be about what I’m doing or just to say ‘hello’. Private. Public. I want it. Comment. Contact me. Anything or anyone that can bring me closer to reaching my goal, the better. I strive to get better. That means feel free to critique. Constructively. Don’t be a douche— Unless you do it Japanese.

Forever yours,

Zatchy, hatchJAPAN

To read the original Mission ←Click there.


16 Responses to The Mission v2.0

  1. Jared Flores says:

    I am one of those braves who likes this webpage.

  2. Israh Qureshi says:

    This was extremely entertaining! I wish you the best of luck on your quest. I hope you can make it to Japan 😀

  3. Willow says:

    Alright, I am sending a link of this to my mom…who will in turn (I would think) send it to some Japanese relatives of mine. I really hope you get to see your dream come true Zatchy!

    • ざっちー says:

      That’s the ticket! Willow, you are the (wo)man! You don’t know how much this simple action of yours means to me. 本当にありがとうございます![Thank you VERY much!]

  4. nippyon says:

    have you tried its a website that connects people from any language who want to learn another one, and you can test chat, write emails, or voice chat. So you learn Japanese from a Japanese person, and you teach them a bit of English.

  5. Sandra says:

    ざっちー, your page is really nice, and your concept good. As someone in AJATT suggest you, find the way to expand the project! 😀 Bye

  6. kasu says:


    wakaranai ^^u

  7. спасибо большое было очень интересно прочитать

  8. Mema says:

    If I find a Japanese I’ll send them your way. But I don’t like the idea of you wanting to live over there!

  9. Togii says:

    You need to get on Mixi. If you sign up for the site with an .edu email address, it will let you bypass the whole “must have Japanese cellphone” requirement. If you don’t have an .edu email address, borrow one from a current-college-student buddy to register, then change your email address to your normal one in the settings afterwards.
    Mixi is where it’s at. :3

    • ざっちー says:

      Super idea!! Thanks for the suggestion!
      Last I heard Mixi had blocked this bypass.
      But I will definitely give it a whirl!

      • Togii says:

        If it doesn’t work, let me know and I can try to invite you. It worked fine for me… I think they just blocked registrations from a particular .edu site that was letting anyone sign up for email addresses.
        Anyways, once you get in, you can search the コミュニティ area for groups with マイミク in the name.. there are huge groups for bored people who want to become friends with lots of strangers. 「いきなりマイミクOK♪」って.
        Otherwise people tend to want to be friends with, you know… people they actually know XD;

      • ざっちー says:

        3Q, Togii!!!!
        It worked just like you said! Thanks for all the advice!
        I will now learn the ways of mixi.

  10. David says:

    That was fun! I’m waiting for more articles like this, and mixi doesn’t blocked anything , for me works just perfect. Anyway, i hope that you’ll fulfill your dream!

    • ざっちー says:

      Thank you so much David!! : ]
      Yes, I’ve gotten into mixi now thanks to the help of Togii. However, it’s another thing to figure it out and make friends. ww
      If you want to read more check out the Index.

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